


there is such a thing as a perfect world

by contrequirose



Category: Critical Role (Web Series), The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Vax is a Reaper - AU, look im willfully ignoring canon to make these characters happy, no knowledge of taz is needed for this!, the raven queen is a cool goddess and is not cruel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 01:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18201425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/contrequirose/pseuds/contrequirose
Summary: Vax’ildan has been dead for one year and a smattering of days.He -There are apparently many things about his kind of death that no one had bothered to tell him about.(A Vax lives AU, based on The Adventure Zone. No knowledge of that is necessary to read this, but it will probably be better if you have.)(Also, Spoilers up to The Search for Grog.)





	1. The Raven Queen Is Forgetful, And This Is Not Her Fault

**Author's Note:**

> me, crying: i just love vax so much you guys  
> title is from Second Family by Patent Pending, the best found family song in existence

Vax’ildan has been dead for one year and a smattering of days.

He –

He had not been prepared at all for what being dead was actually like.

Or, not even that – he hadn’t understood what was happening.

He had been ready to die.

To return to the Raven Queen, to leave his friends on the material plane, to drift away into the dark.

That’s –

Well.

Not, what’s happening, apparently.

The impressions of the Raven Queen that he had gotten, in those months before Vecna, that year and some change after Vex had died – a goddess out of his reach, a porcelain mask that was untouchable, someone that he had sworn fealty to willingly but was trapped with her forever none the less –

She is.

More akin to a friend, possibly, even though she is his goddess.

This is not the path that he expected his undeath to take.

“Do you have any sixes?” The reaper sitting across from him – he’s not sure of his name, maybe Keats? He’s not usually here, a resident of a different plane – shakes his head.

“Go Fish.”

The Raven Queen sighs behind her mask.

“Why would you do this to me, Kravitz. Why.”

He doesn’t see any hand emerge from beneath the cloak of feathers, but the stack of cards in the middle of the table dips down a bit.

He’s not playing, merely observing – they had already been playing when he had ventured into her court, back from training with some of the other reapers of this plane, all of whom had been dead for much, much longer than he has.

The reaper – Kravitz – wins the game.

He has the feeling that she let him win.

Strangely enough, both seem.

Hungover, almost.

He didn’t know gods could get drunk.

“Oh no. You’ve won again.” Her mask doesn’t shift, but the impression is that she’s smiling.

“It seems I have, my queen.” Kravitz pats his pocket for a second as a loud buzzing starts to erupt from it, and he pulls out a round stone.

“Do you mind if I – “

“Is it one of the others?”

“No, I think it’s –“ He holds the stone up to his mouth, and presses a button on the side.

To his amusement, a tinny voice comes out of the stone.

“Hey, Krav, are you going to be home for dinner tonight? Lup said you were doing reaper shit but I’m making pie –“

Kravitz drags a hand down his face, a smile sprouting in its wake.

“Yes, I’m just finishing up after the whole –“

“Also do you think my boon from Reggie will work if I just designate our house as a party? Because technically, if I’m the only one there then I don’t know anyone at the party and then I could talk to the cats.”

“I don’t see… why not? But I can cast speak with animals when I get home, if you want to talk to them that bad –“

“Shit, why have you never told me this before, holy fuck –“

Kravitz rolls his eyes. “I’ll be home in a bit, love. See you later.”

He clicks something on the stone, and the voice cuts off.

He glances back up, towards the Raven Queen.

“Sorry –“

“No, no, it’s fine, tell him I said hello.”

Vax is – confused really isn’t the right word, here.

Baffled, more like.

“I don’t mean to intrude, but who – who was that?”

That sounded – like Kravitz had a home, somewhere.

Somewhere that wasn’t here.

Kravitz gives a slight shrug, and lifts his hands into his lap. “My husband, he lives on one of the material planes –“

“Sorry, sorry – he’s – he’s alive?”

The mask of the Raven Queen, above them, freezes – and then he watches in confusion as is shrinks down and a tall women, still wearing the mask but now with visible legs and arms, covered in raven feathers, sinks into one of the chairs at the table.

“Shit.”

What –

Kravitz turns his gaze to the Raven Queen, and his eyes narrow.

“You haven’t told him yet? It’s been –“

Her voice is muffled from where she has apparently buried her head in her hands.

“I forgot.”

“How, how could you forget about – that’s the whole benefit of being a reaper, you told me about this within my first month –“

“I’m not good at time, Kravitz! You know this! Istus knows this! She has to send me six reminders for every date we plan!”

He is so completely confused.

“What don’t I know?” He asks, mind whirling away inside his head.

The mask lifts from the Raven Queen’s arms, and he can hear a sigh come from within.

“Reapers, as willing agents of my power – regardless of how they became agents, a technicality that Kravitz’s companions abuse at every possible turn –“

“They saved the universe, I don’t think giving leniency for the lich thing was that much of an abuse of that, to be honest –“

“Shush. Reapers, as agents of my power, are granted free time while not called for training or missions. That time is yours to use what you will. See the celestial planes, go adventuring, take vacations – I don’t really understand what mortals do, it’s been a very, very long time – just. Your time for what you will. I call my reapers to act against undeath, against people who break the flow of fate, but when you are not working in my name, well –“

She shrugs.

He glances back at Kravitz, who at least looks sympathetic to his confusion.

“You can go to the material plane, if you like. Family you left behind, people you miss – you aren’t bound to this plane.”

He swallows.

This is – too much, this is what he had hoped against hope for but since arriving he had never even garnered enough hope to wish –

“I –“ His voice breaks, and he swallows again.

“I can go home?”

The Raven Queen’s body droops, feathers pinning in close to her skin.

“You can go home. I – I will call you for missions, on occasion, and you will not age – it may grow difficult to stay with them, as the move on and you do not – but.”

He feels the sensation of feathers brushing his shoulder.

“You may go home, yes.”

Kravitz taps his fingers on the table.

“How long – how long have you been here without knowing that.”

“A little – a little over a year? I think –“

Kravitz’s face grows stormier and stormier as he speaks.

“My queen –“

“I know, I know, I lost track of time – I apologize, Vaxil’dan, I should have told you earlier – the other reapers on your plane rarely take advantage of the breaks, they lived a long time ago and don’t – they don’t see the need in returning – shit.”

Well.

Well – then.

“You’re saying – I can go home.”

She inclines her head.

“You can go home.”

A large drawer appears next to her, suddenly, and she turns to rifle through it for a few moments.

“You won’t be needed for missions for a while – maybe two, three years, material plane time? – and even if you are called, missions rarely last longer than a few days – I really should have mentioned that before, I need to write more notes to myself –“ Her voice trails off into undistinguishable mutters.

She jerks her head up, remembering something.

“Kravitz, dear, can you grab him a stone of farspeech and tell him about the,” she waves a hand is a wiggling motion, “rift, thingy – I need to write more notes,” And she glances up again to look him in the face.

“You can leave now, if you wish. Kravitz can show you how to get back.”

In an instant, the space and darkness around her folds, twists in a way his eyes cant perceive, and he blinks – and she, the cabinet, and the cards that had been left on the table are all gone.

Kravitz stands up, and brushes off an invisible amount of lint off his suit. As he stands, the chair he was sitting on folds itself away into the dark.

He extends a hand towards him.

Vax takes it.

And for the first time in a long time, he lets hope fill him.

Kravitz leads him to a room empty of any other reapers, with long shelves lining the walls and a window overlooking the seas of the astral plane.

“This,” he gestures to the shelves, “is where the stones of farspeech are kept. I don’t believe you have these yet in your plane – but they basically serve as infinite sending stones, without any limitations on location or how many times a day they can be used.”

He pulls one off the wall, and hands it to him.

Looking it over in his hand, its fairly non-descript, a simple sphere with a line of runes down one side and a button in the middle.

“You can pair these to others to make communication easier, but as no one else in your plane has one, that’s probably unneeded – other reapers are programmed in by default, as well as the Queen – you just have to speak a specific name and it will contact another stone.”

“Is that how – is that how I’m contacted for missions, or –“

Kravitz scratches the side of his head, slightly disturbing the locks there.

“Maybe? Sometimes its just – a dream telling you to come, or in an emergency you just get, um, yanked.”

He sighs.

“But usually there’s the warning.”

Vax stares at the stone in his hand, and just – breathes, for a second.

“How do I – how do I get back.”

Kravitz smiles, and with a flick of his wrist a tall scythe appears in his hand.

“You just – and it doesn’t have to be a scythe, you can just use a knife or something – you imagine the point where you want to appear, focus, and cut through the air like so,” he drags the scythe in front of him, and the air splits to reveal an empty room with a couch and a cat blinking blearily at the rift on front of it. He can just barely hear faint humming coming from another room.

“And to close it, you just sort of,” and he pinches the top of the rift with his hand, and runs it along the length, “like that.”

“And this can go – anywhere?”

“Anywhere not warded against transportation magic, yes – it can be a bit difficult at first, so it might be easier to focus on a temple for your first go.”

Kravitz winces suddenly.

“And I would recommend not – not doing this in a place where other people see because it tends to spark worry –“

“A skeleton stepping out of a rift in the air wielding a scythe, what’s to worry about –“ he deadpans, and Kravitz smiles.

“Yes. Would you like to try and make it to your plane, now?”

Vax –

He grins, fiercely.

“My sister is going to kill me, probably.”

As he pulls out a dagger from his waist and splits the air in front of him, Kravitz rests a skeletal hand on his shoulder that slowly morphs into flesh.

“I’m sure you’re looking forward to it. And tell Lieve’tel that I say hello.”

And with a hefty shove, Kravitz pushes him through the portal, waving as Vax twists back –

And just as he watches him pinch the portal shut behind him, he lands with a splash into the thick pool of blood in the center of the temple.

Familiar, familiar, blood.

 


	2. There is such a thing as happiness and this is it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we’ve all been living life in fear of doing something that we believe in.   
> The time has come to believe in yourself. believe in your friends.   
> Find something that you love and spread it like wildfire.   
> There is such a thing as a perfect world but without each other it does not exist.   
> There is such a thing as happiness and this is it.   
> \- Second Family by Patent Pending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not super great at writing but thanks for the kind comments! just wanted to get the idea out of my head.

The blood is familiar, and slightly warm, but that really doesn’t stop it from being gross.

He flails as he hits the liquid, the usually comforting weight of his armor becoming suffocating as he struggles to find purchase on the bottom of the pool.

At the edges of his awareness, he hears a commotion above him – he ignores it in favor of kicking his way to the surface, hands trying fruitlessly to wipe blood out of his eyes so he can see where he ended up.

He finally manages to blink out the worst of it, and he can see –

Black walls.

Lights gleaming off hundreds of intricately laid crystals.

A high, arching ceiling filled with shadows.

And, around the pool, a handful of Raven Queen clerics staring at him in horror and, to his amusement, an elven woman staring in confusion.

“Vax – Vax’ildan?” Lieve’tel whispers, hands dropping to her sides from where she had been about to cast something.

He waves, still treading blood, and a slow grin forms on her face.

“Kravitz says hello?” He calls out, a hysterical laugh building in his chest.

She quirks an eyebrow, and motions for him to get out of the pool.

“Roseanna, Timothy, can you go find some towels – everyone else out, please, return to the festivities.” She shoos the few remaining acolytes out the door, and then offers him a hand to help his climb out of the pool.

“An auspicious moment to make a return, Vax’ildan.”

He shrugs his shoulders, ignoring the sound of blood dripping off his armor.

“Why – what’s happening?” He glances around, and – there are decorations, in this main room, more candles and crystals than usual, and along one of the walls is a thick tapestry that he doesn’t remember being there before, depicting a massive raven, wings outspread.

Lieve’tel gives him a small smile. “It’s night of ascension. As I said, an auspicious return – although, probably best that it is not yet evening and not everyone in the temple is deeply drunk.”

He had been here, over that year he had spent with Keyleth, learning about the Queen and learning about her worshippers – and he does not remember this holiday well, because – deeply drunk may not have been a strong enough word.

Night of ascension is a celebration.

“How long –“

“About a year, by my count.”

He breathes deeply at that – he doesn’t need to breathe, but it does seem to be a habit he can’t shake – and relaxes, tension pouring out of his body.

He had worried –

But a year.

A year is not such a long time.

Worry suddenly furrows Lieve’tel’s brow, and apprehension crosses her face.

“Are you here on a mission, Vax? Do I need to alert anyone –“

“No, no mission – She.”

He stops, and lets out a shaky breath.

“Reapers are not – we are not bound to the astral plane forever. I still – I still serve Her, she is my Queen, but when I am not – not doing things for her, I can –“

A tear finds its way down his cheek, and he swipes it away, smearing blood along his face.

“I can go _home_ , Lieve’tel.”

He watches as her face, normally so devoid of any overt expression after so many years as Warden, lights up.

“I – Vax’ildan –“

Her words are interrupted by the arrival of Roseanna and Timothy, arms laden with freshly cleaned towels.

The two place the cloths down on a nearby table, and swiftly leave, heading back to the festivities outside.

He can just – just barely hear music, pouring in from outside the walls of the temple.

“Roseanna, stay if you will - right, right, let’s get you cleaned off –“

Roseanna halts in her way out the door, reluctance on her face, and returns to Lieve’tel’s side, arms folded in front of her.

“You have prestidigitation, do you not? Can you –“

Roseanna blinks, and with a fast motion she clutches the raven feathers woven into a bracelet around her wrists and in a few moments, the majority of the blood fades from his armor, the thick leathers getting lighter as they dry out.

She hands him a few towels, and with a glance towards Lieve’tel – who nods – she waves at him, and hurries outside.

He wipes his face off, and focuses for the moment on cleaning the blood out of his hair.

“Sorry, she doesn’t – she doesn’t talk much.” Lieve’tel steps away from him, and brushes her hands against the thick fabric of her skirts.

“Do you need assistance, in transporting – If you are headed to Whitestone, I would appreciate if I could join you. It has been far too long since my last visit.” She cocks her head. “Or I can send them a message, tell them that you are coming –“

He shakes his head, and fingers the handle of a dagger in his belt. “I can manage my own transportation – Probably take you with me, if you’d like – and quite honestly, Lieve’tel, I don’t believe a message would reassure them.”

Her mouth twitches. “You’re probably right.”

She taps her fingers against her arm, and ties her hair back with a ribbon that she had laced there.

“It’s nearing midnight in Whitestone, so we may want to wait until morning –“ She glances back at his expression, and swiftly continues on, “Or we can leave now.”

She taps her fingers again, and says quietly, “I am going to be gone for a few days. Nothing is wrong. Watch the temple, and enjoy the festival. I will return soon. Farewell.”

She waits a beat, and then laughs at whatever response she receives back.

“Shall we?” She raises one eyebrow, and offers her arm to him.

He takes it, and with a quick motion – focusing on the castle, on his sister, on all his friends, his family – he carves a line through the air that opens out into a quiet night in the city.

He steps out onto the front landing of the castle, a guard pivoting toward him, weapon in hand, only to relax at the sight of Lieve’tel – and then freeze up again as they spots Vax.

“Warden Lieve’tel – what’s –“ They start, hand flexing around the pommel of their sword.

She nods at him, and gestures towards the doors.

“Would you mind getting Lord Percival and Lady Vex’ahlia, please?” She pauses for a moment, and then continues, “Tell them it’s important.”

The guard glances at Vax, and he gives them a smirk.

They blink, eyes wide, and then turn around to rush into the castle. The guard on the other side of the doors, a woman who he also fails to recognize, keeps a steady eye on them.

“Stuck on night shift, again?” Lieve’tel asks, glancing over.

The guard shrugs. “Better than early morning.”

“True, true…” Lieve’tel trails off.

It’s dark outside, this close to midnight, and he can’t see the moon behind the heavy clouds covering the sky. Everything is washed in shades of grey.

Minutes pass.

Eventually, the first guard comes back, eyes still wide. “If you would follow me,” and they pull open the doors of the castle, “they will see you in the dining room –“

Lieve’tel brushes past him, and he follows.

The door swings shut behind them.

All these hallways – the carpets, the tapestries, the faint nicks from claw marks on the stone floors – they are all heat achingly familiar sights that he never thought he would get to see again.

Lieve’tel paces towards the dining room, and he follows behind.

The carved doors hang in front of them, and he stops, apprehension filling his body.

Lieve’tel spares him a soft glance, and she pats him on the shoulder. With a sharp movement, she swings the doors open wide, and strides into the room. He follows behind, slightly obscured by the movement of her cloak.

And –

Sitting turned away from the door, wearing pajamas and with sleep mussed hair, he sees –

“Lieve’tel, this had rather be important considering this time of night –“ Percy starts, still scribbling something on a paper in his lap.

Vex’ahlia, sitting leaned up against him, yawns without opening her eyes.

He finishes writing something and looks up, eyes locked onto Lieve’tel’s – and then beyond her, to Vax.

His face freezes.

“W-what –“ Percy stutters, and Vex’ahlia stirs, eyes blinking in confusion. She glances at his face, and her eyebrows furrow.

“Darling, what’s –“ she turns towards the door, and stops.

Vax doesn’t need to breath anymore, but he takes one anyways.

“Hi, Stubby.”

She stares at him.

And with a gasp, she half-screams, “You fucking asshole –“ and she nearly sprints across the room, capturing him in her arms, and letting the tears pouring down her face soak into his armor.

Keyleth arrives in the morning, the sending spell that Lieve’tel sent echoing in her ears – “You need to come to Whitestone”, she had sent – and she had flung herself through the Sun Tree with an urgency that she hadn’t felt in a year.

He hugs her until they’re both laughing, and crying, hysterical and hopeful.

He gets to see Gilmore.

He gets to see Zarah, and Kashaw, tired and exhausted with a tiny teifling at their sides.

He gets to see Scanlan, and Pike, and Taryon and Allura and Kima, all his friends and family that he thought he had left behind forever.

He is not alive.

He is not going to age.

But for now – he has his family, and he has faith.

(And for future – Keyleth lives out her days with her husband by her side, and a raven when he is called away. And they are happy.)


End file.
